first summer in NZ

   my summer holiday shld be started right after my final but that time i dun feel any holiday mood many be due to my hospital placement and worry about my result.. all well, after the result were confirm and done my placement, holiday is started...

  attended my senior pharmacy graduation and so happy for them as all their effort pay off :)

  went for the road trip with new travelmates, but still four ppl the best..

  went to the same attraction but not excited , walking 2 hr jz to get nearer to the mount. cook but getting a sunburn, anyway still worth walking..

first time riding a horse that is scaring then what i imaging, keep screaming but still able finish the whole journey..

till now, holiday ady pass for 2 weeks but i am still bluring what to do in this summer, finger cross to get the orchard job but it is hard to get..spending money like spend water in nz will be better than wasting $2000 ticket to go back home?

more intersted in nz or in hometown?

time after time will tell cz i duno also,

may be there are somethings that worth me to stay back?

will update the news, haha...

医生的医生

终于是假期了，
成绩也出了，我还在为了什么而不开心呢？
HPP也告一段落了。。
还差点要看到病人死在我面前，那个医生第一时间就自愿去证实死时。。
医生，医生你真勇敢。。

在医院见到医生就想到他，如果当年我没来nz 可能我今天会更开心呢？
谁会知道？
还有谁会像他那样对我忍让， 迁就，百依百顺？
看到他那么在乎我真的很开心，可是那短暂的日子给我毁了。。

当你再一次问我真的要走吗，我毫无考虑的回答你却不知你的心情。。
为什么等我走了你才哭着想我？
对不起，可是时间不能倒回了。。
去追求你的梦想吧，你永远会是我的BFF...
希望你幸福。。

离开第四年了，还没有人能真正了解我，明白我，
几时才能脱离被人踩被人否认的日子。。
开心的我几时回来？

无论如何还会被感动到的，
煮大餐等我回来，还特地到我家来。。哈哈很好的一个借口

这个假期我要做什么？还没计划，约我吧，好闷哦 ：）

回家

当我决定要回家时，
每个人都为我讨论了这个话题，
不知为什么他们这么在意我回不回。。
我真的那么重要吗？
你们真的是想我的吗？

有几个朋友告诉我对人太好了，
心太软了，所以很好欺负。。
可能他们只想使唤我吧。。
我还是那么的容易被使唤吗？
你要知道我会听从你们的使唤，证明你们是有一定位置的
可好像太多人占有了我，却三秒钟热度后把我给扔掉了。。。。

应该很好奇为什么从当初的不回家改变了回家的主意吧。。
如果我告诉你，爸爸说“累了就回家吧，离开你不想要的生活。。
别人永远是别人，做回爸爸的公主'....
我顿时觉得还是爸爸最了解我，最心疼我。。

我终于明白爸爸为什么终觉得没有一个人能给到我快乐、幸福。。
他一直不赞同我与同一般朋友去游玩，他一直说要小心，不要太依靠他们。。
真的不可依靠，只可依靠爸爸。。
爸爸我会一直依靠你到我能被你依靠的时候。。

可这次出乎意料的妈妈 竟然叫我到local 走走吧，我都不知如何反应过来。。。
我回她等我找到适合的朋友先吧。。
可能妹妹有告诉他我真的很害怕要重考或重读。。
也因为这样她不反对我说我要回家吧!

想当年我一直要重考，到最后妈妈陪我去考，竟然考过了。。
家人的陪伴真的非常重要。。
 妈妈觉的我变的更爱哭了，
会很感情用事！
他害怕我真的熬不下去了吧，毕竟我从小都是成功的不曾失败过。。

这一关是我成长的必经之路，一定要打胜仗 ！

好凌乱的一篇，

in the middle of final

i am half way now
keep going and smile to the end
how u going there?
hope u are alright..
good luck :)

this few days think a lot and dream a lot ,
suddenly think back the moment in intec,,
haha,, y u are in my dream...

jia u jia u,, i can make it,, home sweet home is waiting me <3

放弃

放弃了 botanical garden 之游，
没办法找到共同的 freetime，
今年的春天并没有一副可以见人的profile pic
haiz， 罢休吧！

第二个放弃，不知要说吗。
说的不明不白，你们就会乱乱猜了，
可是不会得到我的可定。。哈哈

当我要放弃时，你就再吃让我改变主意，
这就是你的强项吗？
 其实好像也不止当当是你的功劳，我也是自强不息的哦。。
所以真是又爱又恨 xPPPP

你忙我忙

开学不到一个星期，
我已非常想念假期了，
不对应该是想念和你度过假期，
如果假期没有你，我宁可上课算了！

不想一个人面对漫长的夜，
可是你每个夜晚都有忙不完的事，
问你有空吗，你会说还好啦，
几时你才会问‘你找我什么事？ “
有时有很多很多话要对你说，
输入后再删除，到最后理性的告诉我， 还是算了吧！

我很想放弃你了，
可是我不舍得，
只要能见到你的一天我还会爱着你的！
我好想每天都会看到你。
有时真的好想你，
不懂何时我开始想你了，
有时就不会想你。
到底这么了，我也不清楚！
你告诉我好吗？
晚安！

a fantastic stage + epic road trip

first time in such a big stage for malam malaysia witha full house
chinese dance + opening borneo dance

with the 歌王

 group photo

 opening dance

chinese dance

on stage, try spot me ;)

    

placement at huntly for five days and live as a huntly poh

31/8 taking the intecity bus to matamata and hence started my fabulous road trip

with  BFF.

hobbiton $75 with 2 hour tour and an apple cider

rotorua thermal wonderland with sulfur atmosphere

taupo a big group gathering with jenny, lisa and shange n etc

mount manganui a big successful mount climbing 

and bay of plenty + coromadel bay

we hit most of the beach as one of us like sun of the beach

a jungle hiking,翻山越岭 with 童谣

eight people in a nissan car,

drive 6 hour by the only driver from tauraga to auckland 

going to 金海湾 but cant find the dishes that we ate last year,

wake up 4 am to check out due to no parking for the car

all this awesome memories will be fantastic when looking back after years

all the photos are available at facebook :)

趁年轻就到处跑跑，免得到时老了要去也走不动了！

外人

听着外人，
很想告诉你，不要再找我好吗？
我已经没时间陪你玩，逗你开心了。。
我不要做一个随传随到的外人，
你要找我时我并不想找你，
你以为我能像你那样清闲吗？

我不要什么都要向你报告，
你少知一点会更好的。。
我对你真的感到累了！

我时间已被不同的活动排满了，
给我一点空间喘个气好吗？
再怎样下去结局不是翻脸就是我死！

1/8

我终于哭出来了，
我很在意，在意一切
我真的好累了，
我不要装了。。
给我过我自己的生活好吗？

这里的秘密

好久没更新了，
不是不想写 是不懂要这样写出我的心情点滴
 通常这里会是我的发泄空间
最近改用line 方便又快

从考试期间说起，
考试前一个月就呆图书馆啃书，
每个人都各有所忙，
家里脏的不想呆。。

internal assignment mark so disappointed ,
no matter how hard i work for external, the final marks are nt ideal as i think of
:(

so planning to change my strategies in study? relationship? friendship?
my sister tell me one simple quote:“ only selfish people can survive in hash environment”
why i am so naive?
so what? i hate people say ownself is so "naife"
u naive? only some ppl will believe u? but i wouldnt believe ur naife..

12 days holiday out from dunedin,
8 days in sydney. 2 days in christchurch , 1 day in catlin
a new experience in sydney, ferry, light rail double tracker train
food： pork rib, fish market, korean and japanese food impress me the lot..
adrian zumbo macron each cost me 2.50, for one mouth only..

catlin is prefer and beautiful, darling habour firework was the most romantic view..
but hw sad i have to record down the video without fully enjoy the view..
bondi beach is nt wonderful as catlin beach , feel more better in catlin than bondi..
people ask me why i am so Emo,,
let u know, if i didnt write down the emo post, it will be hard for me to forgive that people

sometime, ppl ask what wrong with me?
i have to find an excuse to tell them,
i will not tell the truth cause i cannot believe every single people besides my family

:))

good luck in next sem !!!
 

big eye

this week is peace btw u n me, no fight
cz i am busy fighting with another one...

yeah, u r like wat i said in 505 ..
i will not be there anymore
u hv ur right n left
depend hw u treat them either like me or better
or they will treat u better than me...

i have to open my eye big big,
open my heart wide
and left everything go by it way....

;) hard to understand what i write right?
this is the conclusion for this weeek,
so slowly guess ba xp

dun cry babe

can u give me a good reason to cry?
dun cry over this stupid reason, but i juz cant stop myself to cry..
what i did until i didnt respected by people?
i dun want cry everyday,
please dun make me cry ok?
i cant study affter i cry, u knw..
if i fail my paper,
due to u,
we will no longer be friend anymore...
its really suffer to act duno, act nvm...
my heart is made of meat nt iron...

505

505? what is this mean for malaysian?
what is this mean for sarikeian?
what is this mean to my friends?
and what is this mean for me?

a crying sky in dunedin with strong wind,
no matter how strong the rain or wind, i still need to go out?
where am i going?
OUSA, for what? u duno la..
i am sure not to go for voting,
i cant vote even my name is on the list,
fail malaysian right?

there are no change after 505.
 i still need do my assignmnet, prepare for final..
a crazy month and boring month, no cinema, no party but lot of chance to eat outside....

what are your doing now?
a message pop out from u..
can i tell u i miss u now?
everytime i have to tell what am i doing,
even i tell in the indirectly, u will still know..
is that bcz u too understand me or i am too easily to understand?

perhap u wouldnt realize that i am still miss the moment we had together..
will u remember the moment we study together? doing assignment together?
and u always forget this and that, always blur blur.. luckily u didnt forget go for exam xp..

505 no change for me...
a blackout cant help me pass my P3,
a cry wouldnt help me solve the problem..
only myself can help me stand up and continue my journey..
a big hug to myself..
i really miss u... T.T

蜡烛

蜡烛的寿命不长，
一生为主人照亮，
燃烧自己照亮他人，
好像小时形容老师用的词。。

今天好像可以形容我自己了。。。。
一直在顾虑他人感受，却没人顾过我的感受，
只想说我是人也！！！
ABC 已经让我心烦了，今年还多了个D。。
好不爽哦。。。

我不要当蜡烛了，
我不要当好人了。。
我要为自己的前途想想，
在这样下去我会一无所有。。

每一次我要发泄在这时，
我都忘了要写些什么。。
但今天的感觉真的很苦。。

我需要人关心时，没有人明白，
找过身边的人每个都让我失望，
我明白了，我并不是一个让你们值得关心的。。
到你们需要我时才找我。。。
我真的那么不该得到呵护与关爱吗？

我学会长大，成熟，
有时装小孩为了只是要得到你们的关心，
就这么简单，也会被骂，我这样做有错吗？ 
你们不关心我你们没有错，
错的是我，
这么无知以为对别人好别人会对我好。。
 
 

small gas kia

juz give me a reason,
why i am so small gas?
small gas, i am a small gas baby,
dun scold me, i will cry and angry,,
dun ignore me, i will unhappy...
dun make me stress, i will kill myself...
busy weeks start ,
dunedin weather keep changing make me feel so sick,
dun worry juz a cold,,
i am so down..
duno what to do?
no motivation?
what symptoms is that?
according to 344, this is xxxx disorder.. opps, forget what is that,
have a goldfish memory now a day..
small fas kia feel so tired ,
not likely to talk or send message,
juz lazy around...
 sleepy
good night <3

爱需要勇气

傻小子，
我不爱你了！！
好像我很随便，但一点都不随便，
这么多年都没改变，
关心呵护如一个小孩般。。。

那三个字好难说哦，
勇气你在那里？
生气你？ 生气自己？
兜兜转转，
你也累了吧？
不要再对我好，不要再找我好吗？
我想放手了， 你可以放下， 我也可以的。。。
不要让我因为你而伤心，心痛好吗？
就只是朋友好吗？
不要再投入任何感情了。。。
bye babe 

疗伤

裂掉的心无论多努力去补也会留下疤痕，
完整的生活不会有缺陷，
没有缺陷的我生活并不完整。

以为假期可以好好的疗伤，
重整自己，反而增加更多伤。。
我快透不过气了，为什么没有人认真的想过我的感受？
不停的说我有多好， 多好。。
我看不到你们的行动证明我有多好
我对你们好应为我要对自己好。。
我不要你们对我不好，我要的是朋友 不是猪朋狗友。。。

我哭的时候没有人知道，我笑的时候全世界都知道，
我要求并不多，伤心时有人陪我聊天，哭时有人给我纸巾已足够了。。。

我不停的付出， 但得到的是不停的伤害。。
我错了， 我真的错了。。该放手了，不在做没有回报的付出了， 只应我累了，我痛了！！！

Seven traveler

Started Easter holiday 6 hours drive to Christchurch,
Timaru the first stop to have lunch, KFC
Lake Tekapo the scene view stop,
the time i started my emoing due to someone unlogical critic,
 am i that terrible and so poor and cheap like what u guys said?
please respect me, if not ppl will not respect u at all, bullshit travel mates...
spoil my mood to enjoy the holiday,

if u didnt manage to do this pls dun even tell me what u going to do,
i am super disappointed with u, i am angry with u even when i am writing this words...
YMCA apartment started the second fire, it should be a wonderful night to talk together,
okay well.. juz play the 4 pics one word, then i better stay in my own room instead of spending time and money to stay with u...
if i know the trip will be like that i wouldnt join ...

second day orana wildlife park and dressmart,
shop wat i need in dressmart and cant find what i want to buy,
orana spending 51 dollar to wait to enjoy the only chance in my life, lion encounter.. the nearest distance btw me and lion.. opppss, we are juz 30 cm apart..

botanic garden the thrid day before travel to kaikora,
u hurt me again, okay lo.. no sorry, no forgive.. that is me,,,,
i will make ur life nt easy like what u want...
kaikora seal watch and sunset watch..
last stop at chc riccarton mall to have lunch
reach home around 5 pm safely...
 no photo for this trips, as i am nt happy to take myself any photo..
if want me to put a sad face it is better to not put any photo...

23

23,
29
celebrate birthday
1: audition
2: lunch
3: movie

Photo, big issues frm my family
the one sit beside u is who are?
 why u laugh so happy?
why u so emo?
left or right one?
why the right one nt smile?
hahahhaha,  easter holiday start with running to pick up the car..
road trip with my gang again,,, hohohoo..
enjoy right? throw again all the stressed and go find the desserts,,
:)

you do not know me

15/3
one week after submitting my plan,
fail two days plan,
sunday nt a free day for me...
rush for report and worksheet,
tuesday tired day ..
i should cook for u for two weeksss hahahah

sadly, no one know i need to cook for u if i fail following my plan..
never have someone that really remember what i said,
perhaps there is no one in this word..
will know me...

2 weeeks to easter,
3 months to sydney,
2 year to end uni,
30 year to end my life...

everyday busy like helll,
everyone talking of me,
everyday crying for non sense
everyone party like maid...

besides library, badminton court and lecture hall,
where is my bed...
??

u will never know me, u will never love me,
u will never remember me, u will never miss me ..
i wouldnt as well...........

外人

我们的才子又有新歌了，
超写意的一首，
似乎写出了我的心声。。。

我宁愿被人说
你是好心人也不要是外人还是彻彻相反。。。。

我的包裹怎么还没到！！！

为爱而努力

真人真事
触及心痛的结局。。。。

听了难以相信，
为一个爱的人付出一生， 多伟大还是多傻？
他与她两个都是我认识的人，
谁对谁错？
旁观者不明白，
一个从中学就认识至大学，做工 都在同一个地方，
算是有缘，但上天像是完弄他们。。。

认识到变好好朋友，直到他们的一时之错改变了一切，
男人 不爱一个女人就不该这样做， 你完全毁了她一生，
 好做不做，等到她有了你的孩子 你才告诉她， 你爱上另一个他。。。
伤了她有多深？为了让他过的幸福，她离开那个城市。。。

一切一个人扛，一个人把孩子带大 就只因为对他百份的爱。。。
到她倒下的那一天，他还没让孩子知道他爸爸是谁，
从小告诉孩子是她自己要离开那个家，要他不要责怪他爸爸。。

可是最总她的家人不忍心看那小孩失去亲人，找他爸爸去了。。。
一个已有家庭的男人知道自己当年所做的要如何补偿呢？
伤的最深的人已离开了？
补偿给孩子？
孩子宁愿住孤儿院也不愿与他父亲的家人过，
就因为他妈妈告诉过他，
不要因为他的全在而让他老爸做他不想做的事，
当初没告诉他爸有了他也是因为不要他负责吗？
 悲伤 的结局，，

有时候无论你付出多少会表示你能得到多少，
珍惜眼前，
不要错过任何直的珍惜的一幕，
珍惜此刻，让日子过的更好。。

人面不知何处，桃花依旧在

一样的地方， 身边就站着不一样的人。。。
才第一天，我就怀念当年。。
你在没有我的地方过的好吗？
习惯你的背影，转身就见你，
你的大手为我扛过的一切，
何时还会有当年？
一切都收在脑海，已足够。。



黑黑的眼圈，好像熬了多少个日子的样貌，
劲力去消除/////

ULALA HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

last day of chinese new year celebration without with my family,,,
okay is with housemates in my second home...
having dimsum for lunch
and we order too much again,,

chinese new year eve at my house this year was such an amazing,,
mum prepared a lot of nice food as we have six ppl this year,
bakar pig, duck, chicken, and  baoyu, baobei frm singapore
bro was coming back this year and we have a special guest=> small aunty,

not much event on first day, juz few friends visit us, my dear alexis is coming,,yeah
huhu, second day busy till drop at my aunty house, meet second aunty frm selangor after 3 year?
my naughty cousin finally talk to me..
we have lot of guest to serve and met my a handsome boy..hahahhaa
third day was my cousin big day, attend wedding lunch and dinner and also included the morning ying sing nai...
my sister as a bride mate,,hahahaha,

the days after is packing day, no more cny atmosphere,,

actually gt a lot of photo but all in my sister phone,, TT..
i miss the big prawn and chicken soup...

拖延之事

hello， welcome to 2013..

ohh, i havent finish write down the memories in 2012..

一二再二三的拖到今天才想完成2012 的事。。。

end my 2012 with my first job

haha, sell vege also need techique

and there i met a guy >>> may be is my 'white horse"

LOLxx, in my mind come out an idea????? u know me or i met u before

second or third day , i saw u almost at the same time same day every weeks

but why u are nt appear today?  will it be the last time for me to meet u in last sat? bcz i didnt make it on last sunday, or u today still gt working...

i keep think wheter u are bandar teacher or work in bank.. if nt why u look so familiar...

dun look at me with ur sparking eye and smiley face, feel so bad if i forget u..are u the one i met in the camp? huh.. i cant even remember ...T.T

有个人这阵子好高兴哦：
先有辆新车，拿个状元 ，好一个新亭园，新电视，新电话， 新校服，新任务。。天天等哥哥回来过新年，一点都不想去上学的小朋友。。。。

one is pelajar cemerlang, another one is model worker, but i am 成绩这么烂。。。。

哈哈， 好像我暂时又想不到我一个月来要写什么了。。。

想

想想

再想想。。。想到了

是那个不知好歹的坏人，

以为这个世界太最棒， 哈哈他还是慢慢等吧。。

另人听了他名字就想打他。。

一天到晚只会抢风头， 不知量力。。

坏事做足，好事不做

说话不经大脑，还敢称是教育者。。

真是失败。。。

话说我是某某人的女朋友，你可是没脑吧， 人家说什么你就传，， 还问我爸，

真的很想扫你一把掌。。还好我爸机灵反回你。。。

大话连连的你希望你牙齿落光光。。

今天说一样明天说一样， 好一个人才呀。。。

你的手下马屁拍的太响了小心惹祸。。。

亲爱的老师， 你要我去学校我不去， 恐怕你不想知道理由吧 xPPPP

告诉你， 你会心疼。。哈哈哈。。。我不觉的我是忘恩负义的人。。看到你你都不敢走近我， 心有鬼吧？ 还等我叫你老师先？慢慢等， 我分清谁才有资格做我的老师。。。

我不可能爱你了-》 我可能不爱你了。。重看着 ；））））

到时先写到这吧，看戏去咯 。。。。。。