我回来了

一个月不长也不短。。。

长得让我不想再回马来西亚了。。。

短得让我不想开学。。

这一个月来不知我生了几次大大小小的病
病得什么都不想做，就算给我看到我的偶像，也开心不到那里去。。。
吃也不想吃。。
三餐吃俩餐还会胖，我该如何是好？？

  无所谓了吧，人生就是酱。。。。。

真的好想念新西兰的日子。。。

我明年不会回来了。。。他说我一定做不到。。。。

我真的那么没用吗？

我今天回来了。。
2011 即将告别了。。
欢迎2012的到来。。。迈向全新的一年
努力创造美好的时光，向梦想迈进。。
梁慧莲一定行的。。。。

四大天王

我的四大天王，她的四大天王。。

我们有我们自己的四大天王。。

我的四大天王 是我这一年来最谈的来的四位大少。。

但我们的四大天王之王是同一位。。

一位才华洋溢，鼎鼎大名的未来医生。。。

算是我最常说心事的对象。。。。

我们的导师，，，：）

 他会是谁呢？

还有一位也是蛮有才华，有创意。。

常常逗我笑，

有时会谈他的中学生活，让我回忆无穷。。。

记得他教我如何学会忘记过去的伤痛。。。

他好像是知道我在想什么似的。。。

接下来是个超爱说我的。。。

动不动就给予批评，，，

有时我很感谢他的直接，

但有时他的话真的很粉刺。。

跟他说话以为能很随便，轻轻松松。。

有时会说到吵架为止。。。

最后一位是谁呢？

爱打交道，

无话不说，

人还没到就听到他的声音。。。

哈哈。。。没听到他的声音还有点不惯呢！！！！

她的四大天王就是那一家的四位。。。

哈哈哈哈。。。

为什么呢？

因为他们是公认的F4。。

cooking day 1

tired at home

juz at hometown for 3 days,,, how can i survive for 3 months...
i am a normal people also..
i need my freedom,,
i am 21 year olds..
i have my right to decide what i want
i hate people tell me this and that without any prove or logical reason..
i going to become crazy ady..
i want watch movie , if u dun want i didnt ask u watch..u can go aways..
when i busy please dun say any not logical things besides me.. what a disturbing..:S
spent my 3 days in my grandma house take care of her are easy job?
why i am always the unluckily one who need to take care of her..
where are her son and daugther?
i am back to enjoy my holiday after a year of hard work..
not be ur orang gaji..
i had wasted my form 5 holiday ady,, i dun want waste my 3 more months holiday..
 i am nt young ady,, i know what is right and false...u doesnt have the right to scold me..




i cant withstand with it ady..
i regret to come back so early..
no wonder what had happened in nz,
i nv feel that hurt and sad..
feel hopeless in sarikei...my damn hometown..
i dun want back next year if dun have special need..
live alone in nz with friends are better even i know some are not really sincerely to me..
sometimes family for me is a huge tension....
they dun understand whhat i need and what i hope to do..


i tired in this home ady...:(

3rd day

this was a long day for me to stay in this hot hot town.
long time not update my blog ady..
everyday i busy with the series法正先锋3  and visit my grandma ...

11.11am 11.11.11 is coming soon..
this day is so special and is my dear friend's birthday..
HAPPY birthday to u..

watching this series make me feel more sad and missing my friends at new zealand
halo my friends, how are u there at new zealand..
miss cumby friends a lot..
miss we talk together until midnight..
eat MCD together,
hanging out together:watch movie, eat outside..
all the sweet memories are still fresh in my mind..
<3 miss u a lots..
its juz the 3rd days i at home..
how can i stay at home for 3 months...
????

last night at cumberland college

last day before i leave cumberland college..
spend most of my time outside,
shopping
and eat outside..

feel so tired after play for so many days without proper sleep
sleep at 4 am, wake up on 9 am..
not taking any nap..
busy with going out everyday before

now, the last night is coming..
time to stay in my room
to recharge before going to KL trip..
i will miss my bed and my room..
but not the facilities here, sorry..
BYE BYE cumberland college

Leaving mode

exam finish
packing start
farewell going on
leaving is on..
my good friends are leaving today..
a farewell party+ birthday party on last night bring up a upset feel..
u and u are leaving me for a long long time..
4 months?
? its super long..
we juz know each other for 8 months
and now we are not going to meet up for 4 months.
......

besides missing u , what can i do in this holidays?
its sound so wrong, but dun misunderstand it..
feel so different for not see u around and miss ur voice a lot...

2 more days to stay at my college after 8 months of staying here..
i scare when i leave here, i will cry cz i am so miss part of the sweet moment here..
i love u guys.. u guys are rocks

sending friends off is quiet sad and touching moment..
i dun like this kind of feeling..
TT..

but life is full of leaving moment...
juz be use to it ..
MISSSssssssssssssssssss UUUUUUUUUU

alone

一个人走，一个人读书，一个人笑，一个人哭。。。
我的知己？我的朋友？
你们在哪里？
好想念你们的全在。。
我一点都不爱孤独一个人。。。。
寂寞的感觉并不好过 。。。

XXXXXX
：（（（（（（（（（（（（（（（（（（（

library 2

frm evening till night stay at library..
spend my study time think a lot of not related stuffs..
be myself is so difficult and hard..
be alone make myself cry alone when study..
its stress and sad..
sometimes i think i am too good to others?
i shld think abt them and shld more selfish..
always kind people will get bully..that true..
its will make my life difficult by continue be good to them..
the moment i saw he, he is so different with ...
why i still think about it...:(
time to concentrate in my studies..
dun want spoil all my effort

NEWS

bad news are spread to me nonstop..
i feel so weak now...
many things to worry about beside my final exam..
its a big burden for me....
haiz haiz haiz...

1010

even write on my tissue..

this is what i did in 1010 when study for my final.....
stay in the library study for 4 hours but i only study for 2 hours?
where i spent the others two hours?
?
?
?

内心世界

被不明人士看到了我的内心世界，从今开始私人化了我的部落格。。
用不着那些我讨厌的人看到我的生活。。。。。

flight

Study oversea is hard :
1) when u book flight ticket back, the moment is super tired and suffer..
wasting 2 days time to change a flight ..
flight back malaysia  settle .,,how about flight back sibu??
when shld i back..
why i am the one who always change flight ticket..
there were around 4 or 5 times ady..
DAMN it....
everytimes change i need to pay lot of money..the amount i spent enough for me to buy a iphone ..
ISH...
Haiz...
haiz
haiz..
am i do the right decide to go back early,,
suddenly feel like dun want go back..
this make me feel like dun want back malaysia for the coming year only..
but sometimes i super hope i am at home...
its mentally disorder or what happen to my brain?


go back early is seriously change whole my holiday plan and my life is turn up side down now...

end up at library

i feel so bad mood and hate to talk ..
so i end up myself at library..even i alone i also dare to come back frm library at night..'
i am learning hw to live independent
i cant believe i cant make it..
i am nt frm a rich family, i nt a pretty girl , i experience many difficulties,, that is nothings for me..
有异性没人性，i like that sentence
emo look but not emo mind and heart, that enough..
emo better than make myself angry or geram with someone that never care about u, and always make u angry,, that are nt even called a friends..
that kind of ppl is shit..

GYM

had a terrible hubs term test,,
the question and answer are damn hard..
god bless me, hope i will score a nice mark..
seriously, i cry for this test..

its make me feel bad..
i spend a lot of times to listen podcast, go lecture and do note,..
but i cant do the question..
its hurt me and lower down my confident level..


the only way to make me happy back is eat ..and spend money..
eat at chopstick with some friends ,
shop around  at town and bought some stuff..
have my 1st V drink at dunedin..
then went for a picnic in front of clocktower
detail photo pls refer to my facebook..lolxxx

final station is UNIPOL..
my 1st time at unipol since start of sem 2...
but have a wonderful session when went to the GYM section  with a coach, nathan..
HAHA..he teach us to use different of machine there,,COOL MAN

and NOW is the time to work for final..
one month left only,, i must work harder..

懒人一个

懒惰读书
懒惰吃，睡，说话。。。。。
巴拉巴拉，，
懒一个字。。。


我的好胜心，上进心在哪了？
被谁偷走了呢？
是你啦，还有谁。。。
想想想。。。
没希望，没愿望，没欲望，没期望，
只有失望。。。。。。。

Small Gas

i am so small gas..
i am so stress now..
Epi again..
Stress make me want to cry out loud..
cry , my heart feel pain and cool...
there are always excuse that u cant do it..
sometimes i really angry with u...

i know i am so childish....
i think u know why,,
but u never remember about it..
it hurt me again and again..
i am so stress ady...
its hard to handle a lot of things at the same time,
i guess u shld understand this....
every words u say make me feel more EMO....

掉泪了

又一次掉泪了，

手受伤了，

扭到了，

心痛了，

恨够了，

烦够了，

装够了，

累死了，

该停了，

睡觉了。。

很想痛哭一场。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

end of holiday

it's sunday afternoon already,,

schoolday restart tomorrow with lump of assignment and test..

final exam is coming soon,left one month plus..

i'm so scared of the final exam..

a lots to study and memorize, how can i handle this..

i seriously need help..

who can help me???

now i'm so emotinal and bad mood..

my brain is full of a lot of bad thinking,

i worry i lost those who care about me,

i dream a lot of next year things...

i worry i will be alone...

suddenly feel so scared to be alone...

i need someone hug and advise and love...

where can i find it now??

home is so far away from me...

crying cant solve the problem and its juz a second of relieve stress way..

i think i'm too stress not others reason that bring me to this step..

stress in education, family ,relationship, money...whatelse???

烦 2

每个人都觉得我最近变了
我变了，变得比较静
爱一个人走，
很多事我都没说出来，
我也不想其他人知道。。

我称不下去了，
我每天都哭了，
我不够坚强，
很多意料不到的事已发生了。。。

我好担心，好担心。。。。
希望那件事不会发生，好左右为难哦。。
我不是你们看到的那一面，
我背后的故事没人知，
家家有本难念的金。。
谁知道？？

我不想那些事让我分心。。
我好痛苦哦。。。。

严重失眠的夜晚

从两点钟躺到五点多才睡着，

那是我目前最严重的失眠记录，

平时最多也只是躺两个钟而已，

今天又没考试为何我失眠呢？

答案是我也不知道。。。。

。。现在的我爱孤独，一个人走，

好几次没参于他们了，

不为了什么。

只为了一些不能说的秘密。。。

1）ngui hao mun zhon yi yaoyigua gen

2)nguimaikanyanyaoguagehaiwomianqiandueganduebei.

3)nguiaiwujialihonggan..

 看得明白就算你厉害。。。

我只想做回当初的我，
开开心心的过日子，
不要再看人脸色了。。。
我已经受够忍够了。。
讨厌你已是事实，再也改不了了。。。。

心里有数 

我不想再想了，船到桥头直然沉。。。。

我已不要那粒橙了，就让他沉吧。。

祝福你！！！！

不可能发生的事也可能发生

但愿我万事如意。。。。。

Emo mode should be gone already..

live  a new life for myself and those who care about me only...

i hate those who always know how to "mempergunakan" me only...

never treat me as a friend, so u dun say i didnt look u as a friend..

life is juz so easy like that only..

what u did to me, i will do the same things to u..

juz be urself

要为自己活的更精彩

不要再哭了，会更累而已，

该放开的就放开，不要太过程强，执着 

Tired month

2nd snow hit dunedin

August is gonna end soon..
i finish two term test with 2 eng test,
next english test is going to come soon->in next week,....
juz hope everything go well after i try my very hard...
1st time i go study with my friends at library due to the HUBS 192 test,
having supper at library every night while study....
so can have enough heat for me to walk back cumby...

many things happen in this month ,
SNOW fall heavily until some lecture cancel

this is the  logo of otago st.david -largestlecture hall

everyone is so HIGH after the HEAL test,
i was a suffer week for me,
i was crazy to study it..
so many fact to remember but  its seen like common knowledge that suit kiwi but not Asian
we went for celebrate in Chopstick 101 and Savoury Japan..

one more week before holiday,
play games after exam and skype and update this
realise i didnt shut down my laptop for one than more week already..
duno whether because of that so i cant open my bluetooth..

one photo b4 go eng presentation ..CHUR

immunisation status test with 2 unprofessional  blood taking until my   hand "hitam" for 2 weeks

preparing for epi test

such a messy table cz i'm busy of study..^^

More to come in next post,, i'm so tired after out for one whole day... 

Good nite everyone 

七夕

a normal day with abnormal mood,,,
i miss u ,, miss u miss u...

一定要爱你press here

雖然我們相識的日子還是短暫的
可是我已深深把你來愛了
你的天真和你的純情已把我吸引了
你就是我夢中美麗的天使
我知道你是一個天真善良溫柔的女孩
真的希望自己能夠配上你
如果你能給我機會讓我好好的愛你
真的只想真心真意對你說

我愛你一定愛到花都開了鳥兒把歌唱
愛到牛郎織女為我們點頭
愛到花兒綻放鳥兒成群把我們環繞
愛到每道彩虹映出你的美

again

i am angry with someone again....again.... again..
nt cure for nt angry???
make me no mood for whole day only...
feel so bad to myself, why i always to kind to others..
hate u.....

春夏秋冬

昨晚

又是一个失眠的夜晚，

无论怎样都睡不着，

突然想了很多。。。。

可是现在只记得少数。。。。。

the tittle of my new update .....

next year house...

and imbas kembali what i did within this 5 month...

夏天给我是最开心的;

秋天给我是伤心的;

冬天还没完呢，

它会是一个如何的呢？

想起了他， 她，它。。。。。 

过得无忧无虑，

开心快乐，

没烦恼，

现在

我

。。。。。。。。。。。。。

每天都在提醒自己， 要改变，，但都没做到。。。。

 

 

Gone - flitted away,
Taken the stars from the night and the sun
From the day!
Gone, and a cloud in my heart.
~Alfred Tennyson