skip lecture day

今天的我过的很痛苦，

一整晚没好好睡到。。。

鼻涕一直流使到我什么都做不到，

不能去上课。。。可悲

饿到要死都没东西吃，

 因为头咙又痛了。。。。。。。。。

OMG

tomorrow  exam ady, i still havent finish the lecture slide..

everyday sleep and doing nothings in my room...

i feel so guilty but  they keep say i'm sick ma so no mood to study..

i find out that is a bad excuse for me lo..

even last time i sick like hell still study..

juz feel so sad and guilty because of the sick..

sick since last friday till now . almost one week ady

but never recover,

after one  illness going better , the others come ... so sienz with my sickness..

this is my second time sick in NZ within three month..

1st sick also almost the same like this times..

juz duno why last time i sick i still in good mood and  got energy to go lecture..

actually i think i know why..

...............................

suddenly miss u ......ur support and advice help me a lots

i think i rely on u  too much before..我对你的爱陷的太深了。。。也太久了！！！！

haiz, what to do, u didnt do what u promise.. what a sad things to me...

... Is there a delete button in my programming to delete people from my life that I don't want to know anymore?

你为什么要出现在我的人生里？？？？？？？

"don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you because girls give and forgive, and guys get and forget" 

always telling myself to stay strong in physically and mentally..

but i cant make it.. 

the freaking english test and the illness that i  had but i keep secret without telling my  parents make me wana cry again.. and again......

i burning my parents money like i burning recylced paper..

what i good things i had did...

觉得自己很没有用。。。

result not good, but lazy to study,

only know how to spend money but not earn any money before..

what am i dong now? everyone go lecture but i'm update my blog...

so in conclusion i'm so useless..

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG,,,,, leong fei lin ar,,, u are so stupid ......................

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Mixing feeling

my dear sister, i feel so depressed this few days,,,,,
want stay lone and away form all my friends.
its a symptom of..............
i duno wat  to do, juz wastimg my time doing meaningless things,
lazy to study, lazy to go lecture and always stay at room sleep all the times...


i juz feel heartbroken ,,
but i duno why i got that feeling again..
why i so care about ................

2 days cannot sign in my blog cause me become more emo,
i so cool to people besides me and even scold them..

AAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG....................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


i so miss u now, hope u are with me to give me a big hug,

我最爱的父母

 

回忆起在家过母亲节的日子，

今年是第二年没陪妈咪过母亲节了，

一句概过： 好想念在家的日子，有妈妈的爱与关心。。不用怕风吹雨打 TT

leave home juz around 3 months  but its seem like long long times ady,

sometimes because of some test, assignment or some activities,......

i didnt skype with mum and dad for more than a week,

not even send a message or call back...

that is totally different form a few months ago when i was at INTEC, 

calling back four or five time a week,

am I now grow up ady?? so less call back and miss my parent??

i'm not.. i miss them everyday in my heart ....

everytimes skyping with parent i feel not comfortable cause i duno how to tell them how good is my life here,,

feel guilty after spend a lot of money , cz think about how difficult for my parent to earn the money and send it to me...

my parent are super super love me and my sister and brother,

i not so sure whether they are proud of me or not,

but i proud that they are my beloved parent....

i always argue with my parents when i was at home,

didnt help them in homechores

 and.........................

i only feel that i'm bad when i leave home...

leaving home to selangor with less tears compared to flying to NZ,,,

cz i'm far far away from my parents and home ..

i worry them a lot..but they also worry me a lot...

remember what father say to my sister every times i call back,,

"dun tell sister somethings that not important and related to make her worry"

this wet my face again,,

they give me all the best things and keep asking me to eat health food, buy what i wan to eat.....

"no money juz say then i will banking to u.. "

this make me crying in front of my lappy again and again...

“ 没有你在家的日子，家静了很多”

“我们会更忙了”。。。。( dad, 2011)

everyone hope that i can still stay at malaysia ,

included all my aunty uncle..my parents sure hope that so 

but they didnt say its out cause they understand what i wan and dream for..

父母对我的爱与牺牲太伟大了，我会好好爱你们照顾你们。。。。

爸爸妈妈我爱你们 <3

 Happy mother's day to my dear mum...hope u stay healthy and happy :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFGN5oa_jzE&feature=related